I am sad to read in today's Guardian that Alice Miller has died. Miller was the author of books that explored and explained the traumas of childhood and children, in ways that took their side against "toxic" parents. As a poet whose early work explored child abuse, and the traumas of infancy and youth - and as a person who was in psychoanalysis for seven years in my twenties - I can only say that Miller's influential quarrel with Freud was significant. However, some of her claims and extreme positions were themselves traumatic. It will be important to sort out her legacy, now that she is gone.
A poem for my mother, July 15 When she was dying And I was in a different country I dreamt I was there with her Flying over the ocean very quickly, And arriving in the room like a dream And I was a dream, but the meaning was more Than a dream has – it was a moving over time And land, over water, to get love across Fast enough, to be there, before she died, To lean over the small, huddled figure, In the dark, and without bothering her Even with apologies, and be a kiss in the air, A dream of a kiss, or even less, the thought of one, And when I woke, none of this had happened, She was still far distant, and we had not spoken.
Comments
As someone who works with challenging/vulnerable young people, I have used her theory of the 'enlightened witness' as my guiding principle for years.
Ron Moule