New Poem by Nick Asbury: Diamond Bob

Diamond Bob

We have recognized that banks need to become better citizens

Now there's a man you'll hear about most anywhere you go.

and that our ability to do this is critical
His holdings are in Texas and his name is Diamond Joe.

to generate long term value for shareholders.

And he carries all his money in a diamond-studded jar.
This is not philanthropy

He never took much trouble with the process of the law.

– it’s about using Barclays' unique skills and resources

I hired out to Diamond Joe, boys, did offer him my hand.

to deliver real commercial benefits
He gave me a string of horses so old they could not stand.

in a way that also creates sustainable value for society.

And I nearly starved to death, boys, he did mistreat me so.
We have made firm progress against our Citizenship agenda

And I never saved a dollar in the pay of Diamond Joe.

in 2011, delivering benefits to the real economy.

Now his bread it was corn dodger and his meat you couldn't chaw.
We exceeded our Project Merlin targets by 13%

Nearly drove me crazy with the waggin' of his jaw.

and delivered £44bn to UK business.

And the tellin' of his story mean to let you know

We will continue to do everything we can
there never was a rounder that could lie like Diamond Joe.

to support our customers and clients in 2012.

Now, I tried three times to quit him, but he did argue so

We know we have a responsibility
I'm still punchin' cattle in the pay of Diamond Joe.

to help generate economic growth and create jobs
And when I'm called up yonder and it's my time to go,

– and we are fully committed to playing our part.
give my blankets to my buddies, give the fleas to Diamond Joe.

Source:

Barclays Strategic Report 2011 / Chief Executive’s Review / Citizenship

Diamond Joe, traditional