Autobiography of a lost soul I thought to be recognised knowing myself as special as anyone has ever been since the moon shone on Caligula’s cruel breast or later on the cane of Chaplin; on the bent wing of that aviatrix who went down in the unspeaking sea; all those who came before me including that painter of wild nights of blue disorder; I vibrated with their frequency or so I felt, self-grasping and self-revelatory – but sought out the lofty critics eager to welcome evaluation, to crown my greatness. None stepped down to laurel my brow. I began to sense there was no order or control at the fashionable core of art, and so, my new philosophy was to go to God directly, for union with such an authority would confer an overwhelming aura of utter dignity. However natural all the loneliness of my unjoined genius, I soon tired
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