Eyewear is very pleased, on the eve of election day, to offer readers an occasional light verse poem by a creative writing student of mine - a poem on being undecided in the UK that has a particular resonance with me, for one. Thomas Hewson is a 21-year old Kingston University student. He lives in South Yorkshire and will be voting in the Sheffield-Hallam constituency on May 6th. Sheffield Hallam’s current MP, and prospective MP, is the Liberal Democrat leader Nick Clegg - whom will be expecting to win the seat with a comfortable majority.
Voting on May 6th
Gordon Brown wants substance over style,
Cameron thinks Labour should be put on trial.
But the Lib Dems are definitely affirmative -
Cleggy boy offers a brand new alternative.
As for the other parties, UKIP and Green,
they have no real policies I think it would seem,
and then there is Griffin, who for power does hunt,
- I’ll say just this – he’s an ignorant…
Cameron, you’ll spend our money without any waste -
well if that’s true we’ll elect you with haste -
but if there’s one thing we’ve learned from the past,
this doesn’t work, so how long can you last? -
Policy to save our economy you claim to pull out of your hat,
yet your party had Thatcher, so I smell a rat.
Funny, what we all know, and this pun I’ll savour,
Sam Cam is now fast moving towards Labour!
Then there is Gordon, Briton’s unelected Prime Minister,
carries with him that fact, which I think is sinister.
Although, I have to say, I feel sorry for this Scottish man,
he was given the job with economics down the pan,
the question is, does he have the experience to know what to do,
to drive us in the right direction – can that be really true?
Certainly, I prefer the country to how it was after Tory reign,
but does Labour need a break now to re-establish its name?
So, my friend, Nick, from good old Yorkshire,
promises change, but that’s all I can hear,
from the city of industry, he’s down with the proles,
an appearance of the commonness, like most of us souls,
he keeps saying, ‘my constituency, my town, Sheffield’ -
it has the highest professional jobs ratio in its yield -
I’m not saying with Lib Dems in parliament Britain can’t enhance,
but the taking of office? – they haven’t really got a chance.
Yet there is one possibility now to roll off my tongue,
and that’s parliament stagnating because it is hung,
it would mean a re-shuffle and another election -
giving Lib Dems power – now isn’t that quite the exception!
With their support, Brown could stay at number ten,
even if the Tories won more seats than them.
That doesn’t sound fair, that doesn’t sound right,
but for me all the options seem like utter shite.
Finally, what I find irritating, when grilling leaders in a Q&A,
is that the MP’s expenses scandal nearly always gets in the way,
is it really too hard for the questioners to actually see
they’ve chosen the one topic in which all three will agree,
they say “Cheating MP’s should be given the sack”
Yes! Well done! But it’s telling us new policy you lack!
I don’t know a huge amount about politics, so I cannot gloat,
but this year I just simply do not know which way to vote.
poem by Thomas Hewson
Voting on May 6th
Gordon Brown wants substance over style,
Cameron thinks Labour should be put on trial.
But the Lib Dems are definitely affirmative -
Cleggy boy offers a brand new alternative.
As for the other parties, UKIP and Green,
they have no real policies I think it would seem,
and then there is Griffin, who for power does hunt,
- I’ll say just this – he’s an ignorant…
Cameron, you’ll spend our money without any waste -
well if that’s true we’ll elect you with haste -
but if there’s one thing we’ve learned from the past,
this doesn’t work, so how long can you last? -
Policy to save our economy you claim to pull out of your hat,
yet your party had Thatcher, so I smell a rat.
Funny, what we all know, and this pun I’ll savour,
Sam Cam is now fast moving towards Labour!
Then there is Gordon, Briton’s unelected Prime Minister,
carries with him that fact, which I think is sinister.
Although, I have to say, I feel sorry for this Scottish man,
he was given the job with economics down the pan,
the question is, does he have the experience to know what to do,
to drive us in the right direction – can that be really true?
Certainly, I prefer the country to how it was after Tory reign,
but does Labour need a break now to re-establish its name?
So, my friend, Nick, from good old Yorkshire,
promises change, but that’s all I can hear,
from the city of industry, he’s down with the proles,
an appearance of the commonness, like most of us souls,
he keeps saying, ‘my constituency, my town, Sheffield’ -
it has the highest professional jobs ratio in its yield -
I’m not saying with Lib Dems in parliament Britain can’t enhance,
but the taking of office? – they haven’t really got a chance.
Yet there is one possibility now to roll off my tongue,
and that’s parliament stagnating because it is hung,
it would mean a re-shuffle and another election -
giving Lib Dems power – now isn’t that quite the exception!
With their support, Brown could stay at number ten,
even if the Tories won more seats than them.
That doesn’t sound fair, that doesn’t sound right,
but for me all the options seem like utter shite.
Finally, what I find irritating, when grilling leaders in a Q&A,
is that the MP’s expenses scandal nearly always gets in the way,
is it really too hard for the questioners to actually see
they’ve chosen the one topic in which all three will agree,
they say “Cheating MP’s should be given the sack”
Yes! Well done! But it’s telling us new policy you lack!
I don’t know a huge amount about politics, so I cannot gloat,
but this year I just simply do not know which way to vote.
poem by Thomas Hewson
Comments
Was it Shakespeare who said
What’s in a name? David Cameron by any other
Name would smell of slime and deceit
But what shall we do when, as deserved,
Gordon Brown’s gonna lose his seat
And the Liberal Democrats seem
Quite frankly, weak.
Vote Green you might say,
Save the Planet come what may
But can they keep the world at bay
When the Japanese wanna eat Whales all day
And there’s a war going on in Afghanistan
With us Brits and the US of A
That no one’s gonna win.
Truth is can’t trust none of ‘em
They’re all out for themselves each and every one
They got their own agendas,
Their own wallets to fill,
And they don’t care ‘bout no national bill
Cos for sure they’re on the payroll
A steady income that’ll grow.
But it’s for our homeless I worry
And the miners who no longer quarry.
The kids without jobs and the
Man who no longer drives his lorry.
Or the pensioner who in their winter home freezes
And asylum seekers brought here
Under false pretences.
Our rubbish bins over flow
With the melting glaciers which show
The warming of our planet
They used to think was slow.
The mountains will fall
And the rivers run red
With the blood of the dead.
For the nature of human beings is such
That God, Buddha, Allah etcetera or not
There’s always some excuse to
Destroy our lot.