Poem by David McGimpsey On Canada Day

David McGimpsey (pictured) is one of the funniest and most brilliant of Canadian writers, popular as a poet, prose writer, and serious thinker on, among other things, baseball and TV. I've been including his work in anthologies for years.

This poem originally appeared in the special section on "The New Canadian Poetry" I edited for New American Writing in 2005. Eyewear is very pleased to reprise this self-reflexive blog poem on Canada Day, July 1, 2009.

Please Don’t Make Me Read Your Blog

I’d do anything
if I could have your love—
I’d give up strip poker
and my apricot facial scrubs

To see you smile I’d drink
30-day old egg nog.
But, please,
don’t make me read your blog.

I’m sure your mother
said some cutting things to you
and that sweater you lent your girlfriend
is not going to walk back home to you.

But, please, please, please,
don't make me read your blog.

To spend some time with you
I’d try your ham bits stroganoff
and I’d clip my toenails—
at least the biggest one

To show you how much I care
I’d give up my homemade rum.
But, please,
don't make me read your blog

I know the people you work with
say all these hilarious things
and your take on modern politics
has an unusual sting

But, please, please, please,
don’t make me read your blog.

by David McGimpsey


busby babe said…
I think all friends and admirers of Todd Swift should know that there is a piece called him "Stunning Wankery from Canada: Todd the Swift" circulating on a website called the 'poetrysnark' which calls this site a 'vomit-wrenching piece of self-aggrandisement'. What should friends and admirers of Todd Swift do in his defence?
busby babe said…
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Jack Ruttan said…
The snark stuff is funny. But oh so boring the snarkers' versions of "propriety!"

I love and hate poets, but implore you, please don't stop, or let the pricks bully you into plastic conformity.

Not that I think this would ever happen.
Donald Brown said…
Maybe it's just me, but I'd rather read the blogs by the people whose blogs I read than read that poem.
Unknown said…
Simple alarmism, Todd.
I am glad I am, by and large, a vegetarian. I don't consume nearly the vast number of unhealthy antibiotics and hormones that the factory farms are forcing on the poor animals. If people live better lives, they have a better chance. It is no guarantee, but death exists. We all die sometime, whether at 50 (like Michael Jackson), or at 104.
A happy July 4th to you (even though you and I aren't American);)
Anna said…
'Don't make me read a blog, just feature me in one'??

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