Skip to main content

A Poem On The Eve of the Election

Eyewear is very pleased, on the eve of election day, to offer readers an occasional light verse poem by a creative writing student of mine - a poem on being undecided in the UK that has a particular resonance with me, for one. Thomas Hewson is a 21-year old Kingston University student. He lives in South Yorkshire and will be voting in the Sheffield-Hallam constituency on May 6th. Sheffield Hallam’s current MP, and prospective MP, is the Liberal Democrat leader Nick Clegg - whom will be expecting to win the seat with a comfortable majority.

Voting on May 6th

Gordon Brown wants substance over style,
Cameron thinks Labour should be put on trial.
But the Lib Dems are definitely affirmative -
Cleggy boy offers a brand new alternative.
As for the other parties, UKIP and Green,
they have no real policies I think it would seem,
and then there is Griffin, who for power does hunt,
- I’ll say just this – he’s an ignorant…

Cameron, you’ll spend our money without any waste -
well if that’s true we’ll elect you with haste -
but if there’s one thing we’ve learned from the past,
this doesn’t work, so how long can you last? -
Policy to save our economy you claim to pull out of your hat,
yet your party had Thatcher, so I smell a rat.
Funny, what we all know, and this pun I’ll savour,
Sam Cam is now fast moving towards Labour!

Then there is Gordon, Briton’s unelected Prime Minister,
carries with him that fact, which I think is sinister.
Although, I have to say, I feel sorry for this Scottish man,
he was given the job with economics down the pan,
the question is, does he have the experience to know what to do,
to drive us in the right direction – can that be really true?
Certainly, I prefer the country to how it was after Tory reign,
but does Labour need a break now to re-establish its name?

So, my friend, Nick, from good old Yorkshire,
promises change, but that’s all I can hear,
from the city of industry, he’s down with the proles,
an appearance of the commonness, like most of us souls,
he keeps saying, ‘my constituency, my town, Sheffield’ -
it has the highest professional jobs ratio in its yield -
I’m not saying with Lib Dems in parliament Britain can’t enhance,
but the taking of office? – they haven’t really got a chance.

Yet there is one possibility now to roll off my tongue,
and that’s parliament stagnating because it is hung,
it would mean a re-shuffle and another election -
giving Lib Dems power – now isn’t that quite the exception!
With their support, Brown could stay at number ten,
even if the Tories won more seats than them.
That doesn’t sound fair, that doesn’t sound right,
but for me all the options seem like utter shite.

Finally, what I find irritating, when grilling leaders in a Q&A,
is that the MP’s expenses scandal nearly always gets in the way,
is it really too hard for the questioners to actually see
they’ve chosen the one topic in which all three will agree,
they say “Cheating MP’s should be given the sack”
Yes! Well done! But it’s telling us new policy you lack!
I don’t know a huge amount about politics, so I cannot gloat,
but this year I just simply do not know which way to vote.

poem by Thomas Hewson
2 comments

Popular posts from this blog

AMERICA PSYCHO

According to the latest CBS, ABC, etc, polls, Clinton is still likely to beat Trump - by percentile odds of 66% to 33% and change. But the current popular vote is much closer, probably tied with the error of margin, around 44% each. Trump has to win more key battleground states to win, and may not - but he is ahead in Florida...

We will all know, in a week, whether we live in a world gone madder, or just relatively mad.

While it seems likely calmer heads will prevail, the recent Brexit win shows that polls can mislead, especially when one of the options is considered a bit embarrassing, rude or even racist - and Trump qualifies for these, at least.

If 42-45% of Americans admit they would vote for Trump, what does that say about the ones not so vocal? For surely, they must be there, as well. Some of the undecided will slide, and more likely they will slide to the wilder and more exciting fringe candidate. As may the libertarians.

Eyewear predicts that Trump will just about manage to win th…

DANGER, MAN

Like a crazed killer clown, whether we are thrilled, horrified, shocked, or angered (or all of these) by Donald Trump, we cannot claim to be rid of him just yet. He bestrides the world stage like a silverback gorilla (according to one British thug), or a bad analogy, but he is there, a figure, no longer of fun, but grave concern.

There has long been a history of misogynistic behaviour in American gangster culture - one thinks of the grapefruit in the face in The Public Enemy, or Sinatra throwing a woman out of his hotel room and later commenting he didn't realise there was a pool below to break her fall, or the polluted womb in Pacino'sScarface... and of course, some gangsta rap is also sexist.  American culture has a difficult way with handling the combined aspects of male power, and male privilege, that, especially in heteronormative capitalist enclaves, where money/pussy both become grabbable, reified objects and objectives (The Wolf of Wall Street for instance), an ugly fus…

OSCAR SMOSHCAR

The Oscars - Academy Awards officially - were once huge cultural events - in 1975, Frank Sinatra, Sammy Davis Jr, Shirley MacLaineandBob Hope co-hosted, for example - and Best Picture noms included The Conversation and Chinatown. Godfather Part 2 won. Last two years, movies titled Birdman and Spotlight won, and the hosts and those films are retrospectively minor, trifling. This year, some important, resonant films are up for consideration - including Hidden Figures and Moonlight, two favourites of this blog. Viola Davis and Denzel Washington will hopefully win for their sterling performances in Fences. However, La La Land - the most superficial and empty Best Picture contender since Gigi in 1959 (which beat Vertigo) - could smite all comers, and render this year's awards historically trivial, even idiotic.

The Oscars often opt for safe, optimistic films, or safe, pessimistic films, that are usually about white men (less often, white women) finding their path to doing the right thin…