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Poem for my Mother

 


POEM FOR MY MOTHER

 

I have not done justice to my mother,

The sweep of her life,

How when young, she was young,

In a country, on a farm, and other children,

And I will never know their names,

I have forgotten to ask so much,

How lazy have I been! Now that she is going,

Out of this room, where we can see her,

Where she can be talked with, now that she is

Leaving the scene of all our disputations,

All the tomfoolery of this world, and the music

She listened to, her cooking, her reading,

Her studies at McGill, those meticulously marked

Textbooks, the kisses, the childbirth, the sons,

Jordan, the colds, the flying to China,

The mourning, lovemaking, waking to make instant

Coffee, the long discussions about serial killers,

About our ancestors, about Uncle Sandy and Port

Daniel, the summers, the winters, the cross-country

Skiing, the wedding photos, the modelling career,

The rages, the laughing, sometimes, the criticism

Of certain TV shows, the gardening, the love of dogs,

The love of cats, the swimming out so far,

 

I have not done justice to my mother,

I must begin to make a start of it, this gathering

Of what her life was, and somehow, compress it all

Into a space no bigger than a page, or some earth,

Or a leaf, like the one she sent me, from Canada,

Upon hearing I could not have children; and why do we

Try to capture a life, tell a story of a life, what is our concern?

Are we sad at the going, at the losing, at the constriction

Of our knowledge, our chances to learn more?

I know nothing I was not told, or didn’t see,

I am trying to do justice, as if an injustice has been done,

And I think it has been – I think such a person, so much

Of her being taken away, all at once – I find it monstrous,

And I know it is the way of all things, the rushing away,

The ruination of our snow forts with the first sunbursts of April,

 

I see it all, the quarrels, the lost opportunities, the love

Of Cohen, Trudeau (père), of trees, and lakes, of rain,

The love of the sea, the love of travel, of her husband,

The few friends, the strong views, the constant searching

For lineage, for ancestry, for a sense of belonging, her life,

Her father the great tall pole-vaulter, her stern smart mother,

Her brother, her sisters, her childhood among animals,

Born during the second world war, born at the worst moment,

Somehow surviving, falling in love, young mother in a sportscar,

How did you do it, how did it all come together, and all the papers,

The collected, curated papers, and documents, the careful study,

The years of mourning, the years of swimming, this

I can only summarise, list like Whitman, who you loved,

Especially his lilacs, when they last bloomed, and do so here again,

As I ask them to appear, as I ask all of Lincoln’s lilacs to come.

To surround your dying time, to bear you up, and flow around you,

In their mystery, in their scent, as you are deserving of no less,

As you are my mother, and I thank you, finally, with the flowers

From the poem you read me, how often, thank you, how poetry

Flowed from you to me, the electric gift you gave, and saved me with.

 

 

December 8, 2024, London

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