" We all behold with envious eyes
Our equal rais'd above our size.
Who would not at a crowded show
Stand high himself, keep others low?
I love my friend as well as you
But would not have him stop my view.
Then let him have the higher post:
I ask but for an inch at most. " - DEAN SWIFT
Eyewear Publishing Ltd is today announcing a new prize for the best POETRY BOOK COLLECTION PUBLISHED IN IRELAND OR THE UK IN ANY GIVEN YEAR.
This prize is to be judged by one sole INCORRUPTIBLE PERSON EACH YEAR - and, THAT BEING LIKELY HARD TO FIND - the NEXT BEST THING, DR TODD SWIFT, a relation of DEAN SWIFT COLLATERALLY.
DR SWIFT AND DEAN SWIFT share SEVERAL THINGS IN COMMON - they both are mad; they both possess genius; they both understand disappointment; they both have round faces; they both love Ireland more than the UK; they both write polemics; and both share the same last name.
HOW TO ENTER: POST ONE COPY OF ANY BOOK YOU WISH TO BE CONSIDERED to Dr Swift at the postal address YOU CAN LOCATE IF YOU CONTACT DR SWIFT BY EMAIL. SAID EMAIL IS info at eyewearpublishing dot com
IT MUST ARRIVE NO LATER THAN December 1, 2014.
NO ENTRY FEE IS REQUIRED.
ALL BOOKS PUBLISHED IN 2014 ARE ELIGIBLE, IF PUBLISHED BY IRISH OR UK PRESSES.
POETS OR PUBLISHERS CAN ENTER.
The press MUST BE SMALL, INDEPENDENT AND/OR EXPERIMENTAL IN NATURE and design.
As it is IMPOSSIBLE TO TELL A PERSON WHETHER THEY ARE SMALL without their permission, ALL PUBLISHERS ARE WELCOME to enter.
A SHORTLIST will be made. OF UP TO TEN BOOKS OF POETRY.
There will be GREAT FUSS MADE OVER THIS LIST AT THIS BLOG.
The Award will be made in 2015, some time after DR SWIFT HAS RECOVERED FROM THE FESTIVITIES.
NO BRIBES, CRONYISM, FAVOURS, INDUCEMENTS, REWARDS, PROMISORY NOTES, SUAVE ADVANCES, HELTER-SKELTER SHENANIGANS, SWEATING PUFFERY, VENALITY, BESTIAL INTENT, LOATHSOME SELF-REGARD, HATRED OF WOMEN, HATRED OF PYGMIES, BLOODLUST, CANKEROUS MUTINEERING, OR other nonsense is permitted.
THIS PRIZE IS TO CONSIST OF FAME IN THE ANNOUNCEMENT OF THE PRIZE BEING ACCORDED. THE PRIZE IS performative. NO MONEY IS REQUIRED FOR THIS PRIZE.
Instead, give generously to the MAD and those WITH EYE PROBLEMS.