|The future will be televised|
Instead, a very British type of passive-aggressive communication led to pollsters being fed a pack of two-faced answers for months - as usual with Brits, what they felt inside, and what they admitted to on the face of it, were ironically distanced from each other. The nation lied to itself much as they might to a fellow employee or lover. This played into Tory hands, since if the polls had warned of a Tory landslide, more anti-Tories might have come out to poll - 66% voting is pitiful. Brand and Morrissey and other ego-fed culture cat who claimed non-voting is better now better be prepared to lap up the cruel gruel the Tory fools will spill onto our cracked plates.
What does Eyewear think, as a blog? Well, we think the result may not be all bad (though it is bad). Firstly, the SNP should be able to negotiate fairer terms for Scotland. Secondly, the Tories will probably get the economy going again, despite the social injustice this may entail. Thirdly, Labour is going to have soul search, and may come up with a dynamic and telegenic new leader able to actually sell the party to a wider public - since the Nixon/Kennedy debates of the '60s we have known an odd-looking leader is harder to sell, yet Labour allowed a brother-stabbing funny-looking man with borderline Marxist tendencies to stump for them.
Nick Clegg and Vince Cable deserved a better fate. Their punishment seems disproportionate to their crimes, as if a child stealing a loaf of bread was to be decapitated. It is true Clegg lied big-time to student voters and went into power with the Tories; but he and his party softened the blows that now surely will rain down on us all. Tory-lite for 5 years thanks to Cleggmania may prove a better fate than it now looks.
The worst outcome for the UK will be a Brixit, or Brexit, and a Scoxit, - either or both would be tragic for the UK, though broadly this blog supports Scottish independence.
The Tories are better at wealth creation - it is what they exist for mainly - but not so good (to be polite) at social justice and fairness. They tend to punish the weakest in a society they barely believe in.
Despite his few deep faults, Tony Blair (who this blog despises for Iraq) did represent what now appears the least despicable compromise possible in these selfie-days of self-focus - Blairism, comfortable with business, banking, and social equality, is a centre ground that we will learn to welcome over the next five years of a Tory Majority that will see terrible cuts to the Arts, healthcare for the mentally ill, and the weakest and poorest in our kingdom.
The voters have inflicted this wound on themselves like a Manic Preachers' fan at a Borderline Personality club night. Look to the right, your neighbour did this to us, maybe even you did it to us.
We need to move fast, past hate and suspicion, to defend the hopes of the large minority that are on the outside now, looking in. We should hope that Labour elects a daring new leader, ideally Mr Umunna, a brilliant communicator with a balanced sense of the centre, and a compelling identity that promises, and not just for shallow reasons, our own Obama Moment.
Ideally, Nick Clegg will find a job somewhere, where his five-language-speaking intellect and inherently calm decency can use his family man good looks for the good of the world.
Ed Milliband faces a cruel future, unless his brother has a job for him in New York. Rarely has a man fallen so far so fast. He too is to blame. He had hubris, and a false sense of destiny. He took a story of corporate and banking culpability and squandered the age's contempt for the 1% by basically being too weak.
But he has been punished enough.
Let us try to get through this hell together, and make of it as much of a heaven as we can, locally, nationally, and globally.